The Feelings Of Being Left Behind

Expectations leads to disappointment. The feelings of expecting something wonderful to happen but turns out something you never expected. I don't know what to do about this feeling of being left alone and felt hatred towards other people. I know God and hatred towards people is not something good to make God happy. But what could I do now, this feeling won't go away. Even now, my heart is not at ease and still pounding faster and sometimes makes me difficult to breathe. I already knew that I easily trust people but please don't make me foolish again. I am just a merciful person and sometimes it leads me to get dumb. My hands is freezing and my thoughts are not organize. Thinking that those people made laugh about me. They enjoyed the night and me being left behind. How could he do this to me? I am just a loner person, always with my own world. I can only go outside in my world if I am with him, but he left me behind only thinking about himself. I am considerate to him but his not humane to me. I did understand him in every situation but what did he do? His just being selfish not thinking what could be my feelings leaving me alone. For now, I will let my heart feel the pains until the pain no more. However, this feeling is unforgettable and it will remains a deepest scars in my heart. 

I am thankful that I am a person who knows God, because if I am not, that person would be pitiful with my revenge. Revenge is not good for a Christian like me, thus, I am still considerate towards him and them. Lord Guide my emotions and help me move on with it. I am counting on you with this emotions and asking for knowledge and wisdom. Please let my heart be heal.

This is the history that my endearment name to him (My King, Kingkong) is no more. He can't hear me calling this name again because of what happened last (May, 16, 2015). They said that promises are meant to be broken, but its not applicable on me, because, I always keep my promises and now I promise to call him King or Kin2x to be remembered.


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